Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Rewind, arrest.

What are you doing to me? What have you done? Who are you and where did you come from? I don't know if I want you or need you and whether it is enough that you love me and I love you. Whether it is alright that we don't have reasons to justify this love.
I don't understand why we only get snatches of us. It boils my blood and yet it calms me at the same time. I am aware of you and how lucky I am to get the time I'm gifted with you. It's a treasure and I treat it like one. Maybe we sinned in another life to deserve a half-baked life with each other in it, but it was also one filled with good deeds to deserve you at all. You kill me sometimes. Your words, your actions, your gaze. But each time you revive me you inject the life back into me with a new enthusiasm and new outlook towards life. You make me deconstruct everything I already know and somehow understand myself better. You make the process legible. you make me tolerant, and a better person even if I hate it. I hate you but I've never loved anyone like you before. I've never been swept off my feet, been engulfed in a sea of vastness of every emotion I could ever muster, like I have now, with you, by you. Stop this. Make up your mind, and do it fast. I'm slowly disintegrating and I need to be able to fix you so you can also piece me back together. Don't you get it? This is my only adhesive and it will help us survive. Without this, we wont exist. We've made promises. The world may not but we are supposed to keep them because we're different. We're crazy but it's us against the world. When there's no us, there won't be any street, monument, sun, stars, people, memories, nothing. It will all get wiped out with us. Every space that has ever had the chance to see us entwined, in our thoughts, conversations, breaths and limbs, will cease to exist. 
I know you have to pick life and everything contained in it because it's the final semblance of sanity that remains for you. I know that because I know you. You don't know it but I somehow understand you better than you and these three months that you rubbish are the very core of my soul which is locked into yours, like a perfect missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle. Even then, I'm asking you for one last thing. Pick me. Choose me. Love me. Over your life, and everything in it. Because I've given up mine for you. 


  1. Do I know You?You look so familiar."Frozen Flame" and "Beautiful Mess"

    Keep it Up girl!