Monday, December 5, 2011

Torniquet.

"I learned to live, half a life
And now you want me one more time"- Christina Perri

You get inside of me and drain the life out of me.
You leave venom in my bloodstream.
You reduce my sanity to nothing.
Your ego beats mine and I can't even put up a fight.
But you always come back.

You come back to place me back on my high horse you so carefully constructed. 
You come back to wipe my tears.
You come back once you're scared you hurt me.
You come back, because you always know you hurt me.
You come back to plant a kiss.
But then you tell me things you really shouldn't be telling me.

You tell me you've loved me before I knew what it really even meant.
You tell me that all the things that happen around me, happen only because you make them.
You tell me I haunt your thoughts from early mornings to late nights.
You tell me you can't breathe without our daily fight.
You tell me you love me without the glow that surrounds me.
How you could even muster a love like this one is beyond you.

This is beyond me and it's beyond you.

You said you weren't coming back but you did.
You always want to disappoint me but you don't. You can't.
And you hate yourself for it and love me for it.
I don't know which I hate and which I love.

I don't know how long we're in it for but it's going to leave us both lifeless, of that I'm sure. 
I need to see you to feel normal again.
But when I do,
I'm going to come back home with blood-stained cheeks for where tears should have been. 
And a smile that reaches my soul. 

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