Sunday, July 31, 2011

500 Days Of Each Season.

What happens when occurrences in your life, one after the other, do nothing but confirm, more and more, that you were, are, and in fact always will be, an outsider. What's worse, is when you find out that you're on this side of the glass window, somehow still intact but probably on the verge of shattering, only because of your naivety and sheer innocence. Or maybe it's just a skill you acquired somewhere along the way, of blindfolding yourself with an invisible emotion every time you thought something was coming at you, that didn't quite fit, or the time for which wasn't quite right, or it wasn't quite as bearable as it should have been. Quite. Quite foolish you'd have to be.

When you're in love, you're supposed to be a fool. Why? Because it isn't reality. It's a fantasy. One that was created as per your own convenience, and composed of your little, fragmented obsessions at the time. But nobody ever talks about how foolish, and vile life itself can be. How foolish you could be while undergoing the process of 'growing up.' But sometimes the process stagnates. And you feel like you'll never learn. Like how many times could you possibly suffer, until the suffering teaches you a lesson. Like how much could you possibly endure, until the last vein connecting your heart to your brain is yanked out. Limitless.

I'd stay a little while longer, if only I could be assured that this time, or the next time, or the one after that, will not end in tears and severe reconciliation of not just the surface skimming factors, but of the soul. 

I'd stay a little while longer, if only the truth was told to my face, and with a trust I couldn't look away from. 

It's like it was said in one of my most favorite movies, of all time. Every time we look back at something we're having a hard time recuperating from, we're probably only looking at the good stuff. The next time you look, look a bit more carefully. 

As I said, I'd stay a little while longer. But that's only if I thought there was something more this place had to offer me. If only it hadn't taken and given to me everything that could have possibly been taken or given. If only my life could turn out the way it had to in the duration of my favorite movie, not necessarily with the same script. If only I could sit here all day, not bother about frivolities that take up my vision, touch and taste, and watch this movie, some brain waves intact. Some nourishment intact. And then... Summer. And soon. Autumn. Throw in a certain Monsoon will you. 

"The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling..."- Adele

12 comments:

  1. 500 days of summer has a lot to answer for in an Indian climate.

    I loved it :)

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  2. wow wow and wow. I NEED to connect. Im adding you up on facebook cuz I could just never be a regular blogger and posting notes was so much more easy. I really hope we can be in touch cuz in over let's say 21 years for the first time I see someone who just about wrote exactly what could have easily been one of mine.

    Also, thankyou. ;]

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  3. Beautiful portrayal of your string of thoughts with the movie. Loved the movie as well. as always good job.

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  4. I LOVE YOUR BLOG. OMFG.

    So beautifully written! I could totally relate to it. You stole my thoughts and gave them words. Lovely! :)

    I'm following you, that's it.

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  5. ///Like how many times could you possibly suffer, until the suffering teaches you a lesson. Like how much could you possibly endure, until the last vein connecting your heart to your brain is yanked out. Limitless.///

    I cant help but agree with you..but you know something, ive learnt that most often than not, misery is self-made..perhaps thats why we hold it so close to us and never let it go.

    let go..its a liberating feeling!!

    take care

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  6. ///And then... Summer. And soon. Autumn. Throw in a certain Monsoon will you. ///

    Loved it

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  7. Oh Wow! Loved it ... You have a way with words!!! :)

    ♡ from © tanvii.com

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  8. http://idiotsandgenious.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete